February 6, 2024

Events Don’t Have to Control You: Using the E+R=O Formula

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf.” Jon Kabat-Zinn   Beware of quick fix formulas! But, there are tools that can help us to manage our reactions to external events that can shift our emotional and behavioral responses. The E + R = O (EVENT + RESPONSE = OUTCOME) formula, which we picked up on […]
January 7, 2020

Being Fully Present to Others

In how much of our communication with others are we fully there? If you ask what people want from most of their communication, many will say more clarity, better understanding, greater honesty – maybe even love? Underneath it all, what we really long for are deeper, more meaningful connections with others.  Even when we’re not aware of consciously seeking it, […]
May 20, 2019

The Power of Beliefs at Work

“The voice in the head tells a story that the body believes in and reacts to. Those reactions are the emotions. The emotions, in turn, feed the energy back to the thoughts that created the emotion in the first place. This is the vicious circle between unexamined thoughts and emotions, giving rise to emotional thinking and emotional story-making.”     Eckhart […]
January 11, 2019

The Mirror in Us: Mirror Neurons & Workplace Relationships

“We use the same cells to build a sense of self, since these cells originate early in life when other people’s behavior is the reflection of our own behavior. In other people, we see ourselves with mirror neurons.” Marco Iacoboni, author, Mirroring People, The Science of Empathy and How We Connect with Others Emotions and actions are powerfully contagious. When […]
March 11, 2017

Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?  

Pulitzer Prize winning poet Mary Oliver’s haunting question should become a mantra for life in the 21st century. Seemingly inured to stress, too many of us speed through each day without taking the time to stop and ask – what have I traded a day of my life for today? Jumping on the mindfulness bandwagon dozens of articles still ask, “Can […]
September 8, 2016

Developing Greater Emotional Competency

Since the term Emotional Intelligence (EI)  was popularized in the mid -1990’s by former New York Times science writer, Daniel Goleman, work on EI has found its way into mainstream business. Goleman’s first book, Emotional Intelligence,  was based on the work of university researchers John Mayer and Peter Salovey, who were trying to scientifically measure the difference in people’s emotional abilities.  At the […]
June 11, 2016

The 5 Habits of an Empathetic Communicator

How we respond to others is largely a function of habit. Many small, repetitive, automatic responses that grow over a long period of time form habits. Mostly, these reactions are outside of our conscious awareness. They’re built on foundations formed by our beliefs, and in most cases, they stayed fixed, usually reinforcing old beliefs and naturally – old habits. Charles […]
April 21, 2016

Emotional Baggage at Work

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.” Anthony Brandt We all bring it – we all have it. It is a matter of degree – and awareness. In every interaction we have at work, we bring the dynamics of our families, culture, generation and gender with us.  The first problem is that most of us […]
March 14, 2016

Why Do We Continue to Think Self-Compassion is Self-Indulgent?

Writing in The New York Times, Tara Parker-Pope wrote in (Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Suggests) “Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family? That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion – how kindly people view themselves.  The research suggests that giving […]