July 25, 2014

Knowing What You Really Want

In earlier writings on self-compassion, I asked what I consider to be a core question, Have I loved my life enough? Another way of asking this is – Have I loved myself enough? Either question takes you down the same path. All of life is driven by needs. Needs energize our life, generate motivation and shape the meaning of our experiences. […]
March 13, 2014

BeFriending Anger – The Emotions Series Reprise

“Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you to understand what you need and what you value.” Thich Nhat Hahn For seven years I regularly facilitated seminars on conflict resolution.  Most of the group participants wanted answers to problems they saw as the source of their conflict. Usually this had to do with fixing the behavior of another person. Imagine […]
September 26, 2013

Blind Spots ~ Getting Past Our Fixed Mindsets

When I consider my past, I’m amazed at what I just did not see.  I wonder – what was I thinking at the time? Experience is not only a great teacher in the moment, but it gives us a context that changes our perception going forward.  Once you know what you know – about your own behavior, a job, a […]
July 5, 2013

The Voice in Your Head ~ What’s Your Work Narrative? – Reprise

You have a mental dialogue going on in your head that never stops. It just keeps going and going. Have you ever wondered why it talks in there? How does it decide what to say and when to say it? How much of it turns out to be true?                   What’s your workplace narrative – you […]
June 27, 2013

Emotional Intelligence ~ 20 Years On ~ Part 2

Continuing the conversation started in Part 1 of this article – several key questions keep surfacing.  One is the often unspoken tension between EI (Emotional Intelligence) and what is typically thought of as “therapy.” For anyone who has been involved in a therapeutic process, it’s immediately clear that learning and applying EI principles is very different from being “in therapy.” […]
June 14, 2012

Humanizing Workplace Relationships – People Aren’t Tasks

“For me, my role is about unleashing what people already have inside them that are maybe suppressed in most work environment.”                Tony Hseih, Zappos CEO Is the “modern” workplace designed for people? Are the systems created for work designed to maximize productivity and profit or human well-being? Who factors in the real cost […]
July 8, 2010

What Do You REALLY Want? 9 Steps to Achieving Better Outcomes

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. “I don’t much care where -” said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat   Working with clients we often find the question – what do you […]
March 4, 2010

The Starting Point for Empathy is You

The Starting Point for Empathy is  YOU   In this series of articles examining empathy, we’ve explored some reasons to consciously act on developing our empathic skills.  In Becoming More Empathic  we looked at some of the ways to remove the obstacles we create in responding empathetically to others.  In this post, we’re going to focus on the most important part of the […]